Chronicles Of A Poop Filled Diaper...

HELLO ALL!!! I AM STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!

I know it has been quite a while since my last post ....too long actually - so please accept my apologies!
The truth is, I went and had a baby and got a little tied up in his awesomeness for a few months...oops!

Anyway, I have a lot to catch up on and hopefully can find the time to get it all down and out to you! So be sure and check back often in the coming weeks for all the fabulous things I have to say!

Also, super sorry for any typos above or below...I am working on a strict deadline ( he is going to wake up any second....) and no time to proof read.

Now on to the topic of the day:
My new son Jackson and The Interesting Things That Happen To Me When He Poops....
(See Image 1, 2 and 3 - Jax)

                                         

Now I understand that most new mothers would initially write about all the cute stuff that comes with having a new baby and they would included paragraphs on how much they love them and include details on every super cute thing that they do every single day....Well - I assure you Jax has my heart and (I know I am biased) no other baby is as cute as him BUT... let's get real! I can't make some of the stuff up that has happened to me over the past few weeks...and some if it (actually - most of it) is centered around his poopy diaper! (See Image 2)

The first episode was pretty intense....My mother, Sister and I took Jax into Boston for the day....it was beautiful out and we were having a blast when all of a sudden the sky turned grey....the thunder started...lightening bolts surrounded us and the monsoon produced hail the size of baseballs!

We ran for cover immediately...and where (of all places in Boston) do us three - rather loud - Italian ladies and new born baby end up - A LIBRARY - Seriously!

Once we realized where we were it was too late to retreat. We were stuck. Everyone was staring. So we take a seat and try to be quiet...Jax did not understand the concept of being quiet...so he was getting fussy...
I picked him up from this car seat/stroller and he starts to FART - LOUDLY! I thought this was pretty embarrassing...and then I realized he smelled - really. really, really bad...so he obviously pooped.

I send my mother to the desk to get the key to the handicap bathroom so I can change him - I am still calm at this point.

So my mom gets the key and instead of coming back and giving it to me for some reason (which I still do not understand) she decides to start roaming around the library - why would she do this? seriously - why?
At precisely the same time I pick Jax up off my lap and - you will never believe what happened - it was then that I realized his poop OOZED! EVERYWHERE! (See Image 4) It was coming out from his legs, up his back and out the collar of his shirt, even seeping THROUGH his clothes....and as if this isn't bad enough I then noticed it was ALL OVER ME!!!! MY PANTS - MY SHIRT - MY ARMS!  gross...just gross. I will spare all of you the details of the texture.....

Anyway, So as I realize this - my mom is wondering around the library with the bathroom key - I start to panic....I am trying to get her attention without making a scene...I failed.

Once I realized my failure I just yelled across the library and told her to bring me the key....

Of course, I planned well for Jax - I had smelly bags for the diaper and his dirty clothes and a spare outfit - HE was all set! ME on the other hand....not so lucky...I finished the day walking around Boston smelling like poop with green stains all over my clothes - Awesome! Welcome to Motherhood Nancy!

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Two days later....
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I take Jax to his doctor appointment... and of course as we are leaving he  Poops! Why wouldn't he?
So I go to the public bathroom and as I am changing him I get completely creeped out...not by him but by the weirdo in the stall next to us!

So i am totally minding my own business when a voice calls over from the next stall....and asks how old my baby is. It is at this moment that I realize this random person is taking a dump in the stall next to me!

First of all...ewwww. Second of all....gross.

So, I try to be polite and I answer....meanwhile in my head I am cursing my precious little baby.
Then this lady keeps going telling me how cute he sounds...What? I mean the only thing going through my head is whether or not this lady is for real.

Then She Finishes! and I think I am in the clear...I am sure she will wash and leave....SURPRISE....SURPRISE - I AM NOT SO LUCKY.

Instead,  she does not wash and does not leave BUT STANDS OUTSIDE MY STALL AND ASKS IF SHE CAN HOLD MY BABY WHEN I COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF?

Honestly, what is wrong with people....

I was freaking....big time....so I just said NO! 

Was I rude? YES! But oh, well....

And - as a side note- after  I said no... the lady left the bathroom WITHOUT washing her hands.

I have experienced many more exploding, poopy diapers over the last few weeks....but now it is more the norm then the exception... I am sure many a Mom has had similar experiences and can relate....for those of you who have not I hope you just got a good laugh at my expense....

Until Next Time....